Hidden in the Shadows
by Hermione30
Summary: What do you do when you're in a relationship that you don't want to be in? Do you break up with the person? Seems simple, but it's really not that easy; Ginny knows that. Who will help her through this time of trial? Read and find out! And a review would


Hidden in the Shadows

Disclaimer: This is the only disclaimer I will use this story: I don't own HP. But the J.K. Rowling (great literary genius she is) does. points to JKR Giver her all the credit. Hey, wait minute…it's J.K. Rowling! runs off to get an autograph

A/N: This is probably the angstiest story I've ever written. But it won't stay that way…

I'm working on the second chapter right now and it will hopefully be up by Sunday. Read and review!

_The uses of armadillo bile in potion making are as follows…_

My quill scratched the words of my Potions essay onto the parchment, but somehow it just wouldn't write down the rest of the assignment. Sighing, I set my quill down, leaned back into the couch, and closed my eyes.

"Hello, Ginny." A voice behind me came out of the blue.

Startled, I glanced up into the face of my boyfriend, Dean Thomas, and forced a smile. I really wasn't in the mood to talk to him at the moment.

"What's wrong?" he asked, putting his arm around my shoulders. I felt awkward. I don't know why I'm even going out with him. Why, oh, _why _had I told Ron I liked Dean? I had only said it to agitate Ron, it was only a joke. It was rather stupid of me, as it had gotten out very quickly and before I knew it, Dean was asking me to date him. I accepted; I'm not sure why I did that, either. Maybe because I wanted to prove to myself and others that I don't need _him. _That was back in September. It's late March now. Dean and I were happy together—up until about a month ago. That was when I felt my feelings for someone else started returning more strongly than ever before.

The portrait hole opened suddenly and Harry, Ron, and Hermione stepped into the common room. Harry and I made eye contact and for a slight moment I stared into his emerald eyes, entranced by them. The spell was broken abruptly by Dean's voice.

"Ginny? Are you okay? You seem…out of it tonight." His concern for me was practically spelled out on his face in capital letters. I felt that famous Weasley blush steadily creeping up my cheeks.

"It's nothing," I lied, brushing away his concerns, "I'm just tired. I think I'll head off to bed." I faked a yawn, then stood up and stretched.

"Okay," he stood up as well, "But you let me know if you need to talk about anything, you hear?" He looked at me with those dark eyes and kissed my forehead.

"All right," I felt so guilty. _If only I could talk to you about it… _"Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

I walked up the stairs to my dormitory, and lay down on my bed, not feeling remotely tired. _I can't take this anymore. _I thought. _I like both Harry and Dean, but I don't like Dean as much as he thinks._

_Not as much as Harry thinks, either. _Another voice popped into my head.

_Do you have to rub it in? _

_Yes. _

_Why? _

_Because you have to do something about this. You aren't happy, and you know it. _

_But what can I do? _

_Break up with Dean. _The voice said it so simply, as if it would be an easy thing to do. (_Pfuit. Right.) _

_Aren't there any other alternatives? _

_Well, you **could **stay with Dean, but that really shouldn't be an option. _

_But Harry doesn't even notice me. He sees me, but he doesn't **see** me. Not as I wish he would._

_Well, we can make him notice you. _

_HOW!? I've been trying for 6 years and nothing has worked so far. _

_Are you sure that's really true? Haven't you caught him staring at you a few times in the past few months?_

_…Well…err…_

_So you admit it. _

_Maybe. _

_Don't be daft. You were ogling at each other less than ten minutes ago. _

_…_

_Ha. I knew it. Just break up with Dean and get it over with. You don't **really **like him, do you? _

_No, I guess not. _The first side finally admitted.

_So, why are you staying with him? _

_I don't want to hurt him. _

_He'll be even more hurt if he finds out that you still like Harry from someone else. It's bound to get out eventually. Do you have a better plan? I'm open to suggestions._

_No. _

_Good, then let's go with mine and see what happens. If it doesn't work out with Harry—which I HIGHLY doubt—it will with somebody else. Just trust me, okay? I'm your other half, the one who helps make you successful. Got me? _

_Okay…I'll do it. _The first voice resigned.

_Trust your instincts, okay? Remember, I'm part of them. _

_I'm not so sure that's a good thing._

_HEY!!!!!!!!!!!! _

I was no longer listening to my arguing thoughts. I sat up and went back downstairs to the common room. _This is it, _I thought, _the moment of truth. _But when I looked at Dean, laughing and talking animatedly with his friends, I lost my nerve. I managed to dash back up into my room without anyone seeing me. I pulled on my pajamas, crawled into my four-poster, and pulled back the curtains.

_You chickened out. _My other half told me in a patronizing tone.

_Shut up. _

I rolled over and willed sleep to come and ease my troubled mind, but it didn't come. My conscience wouldn't let it.

_If I want to sleep at all tonight, _I told myself, _then I can't think about Dean. Okay, focusing on something else…but what? Aha! How about Harry? That always cheers me up. _

_It won't make you really happy until you are actually able to be with him without cheating on Dean. _

_Grrrrr…Thanks A LOT. _

_You're very welcome. Now, be a good little girl and do as I say. _

_And that is? _I tried stalling.

_Stop playing dumb. You know what it is. _

_Fine. _

_Good. Now, just GO!!! _

_Okay, okay, I'm going. _

_And don't come back until you've done as I say. _

I glanced over at my clock; its glowing digits read 12:03. Sighing, I got out of bed again and padded downstairs in my stocking feet. Dean was in the common room doing homework and luckily, he was alone. I tiptoed over to where he was sitting and cleared my throat. I had obviously come down very quietly, because he started, and quickly covered up the paper he was writing on. His expression relaxed when he looked up at me.

"Merlin's beard, Ginny. You scared me," he paused, a thoughtful expression on his face,

"What are you doing up so late, anyway?" he asked

I suddenly felt very uncomfortable. "I couldn't sleep," I answered. W_ell, it's **true. **_I thought.

"Oh, here," he said, while scooting over on the couch cushions, "you can sit down."

"Thanks," I said, and sat down next to him. We sat there without saying anything for a few moments. I was too afraid to open my mouth, for fear of saying something stupid. _Say SOMETHING, you dolt. He's gonna think you've gone mute. _

_Just a minute. I'm trying to work up the courage. _

_eye roll Heaven knows how long that will take… _

"Ginny, are you feeling all right? You look a little pale." He said, taking my hand.

"I'm fine," I lied. "But, you were right."

"What do you mean?" He looked confused.

"I mean that there is something I need to talk about with you," I fingered my plaid pajama bottoms with my free hand, because I couldn't stand to look him in the eye.

"Okay, what is it? I'm all ears." Although I could tell he was trying to keep calm, there was a hint of fear in his voice. __

I swallowed hard and said, my voice trembling: "Well…it's like this. I've been really happy being your girlfriend these past few months, but I don't think…I mean…it's not working out." Dean pulled his hand away, and mine suddenly felt cold and alone.

"So…" he said, as though he were trying to choose his words carefully, "Does this mean we're breaking up?" I had never seen him look so upset before.

I didn't trust myself to open my mouth, so I simply nodded.

"Oh…okay." He said. "Listen, it's late, and I'd better go to bed." He said, with a certain stiffness about him, as though he were trying to hold back tears. My heart went out to him.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"Yeah…yeah…sure." He said distantly, as though he wasn't even in the room with me anymore.

"Okay," I answered. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight." he hurried up the boys' staircase out of sight. I didn't move until I heard a door shut somewhere upstairs. I felt a huge lump form in my throat. I looked down on the floor and I saw that the parchment that Dean had tried to conceal from me had fluttered to the floor. I picked it up and read the words written on the parchment.

_Dear Ginny, _

_Today, March 29th, you and I have been together for exactly six months. This has been my best school year ever at Hogwarts because you have been in my life. To celebrate, I want us to go to Hogsmeade. I have a special surprise planned for you there. Also, with this letter are a half-dozen roses to represent our time together. I've put a Preservation Charm on them so that they'll never wilt as long as we're together; I hope they will last forever. _

_All my love, _

_Dean _

Suddenly, I felt as though I was going to throw up. I leaned back and closed my eyes for a few minutes. I opened them with a start when a heard a small popping noise on my left. I looked down and saw the roses that Dean had mentioned in his letter. My hands shaking, I picked them up; they smelled wonderful. But they were only normal roses now; the Preservation Charm was broken because of me.

"Ouch." I said; for my finger had been pricked by one of the thorns on the roses and was starting to bleed. I felt my eyes fill up with tears; not just for my finger, but for Dean's broken heart, my confused life, mine and Dean's relationship which has been swept carelessly out the door by my own stupidity.

_Why did I even listen to you? _

But there was no answer; I was all alone, with no one to turn to: hidden in the shadows of darkness. Overwhelmed with emotion, I curled up on the sofa and cried myself to sleep.


End file.
